My Chick Bad

I like the way she feels, but she makes me feel better, when I touch her like condensation she gets wetter. She kinda got that coke bottle shape to her, she's cool and smooth and always got it together. She always dresses fly many colors and varieties, everyone likes her and she's well known in the society. I like the fact and the way she's always on my side, I take her like medicine and she stays by my side. She gets me tipsy from the moment I smell her, and she can keep a secret I mean anything that I tell her. Shes there for me when I pass out and when I come to, when I'm happy, mad or sad she's the one I go to. Vodka's all that I need and all that I got, so sit back and relax while I take another shot.

Definition of Depression

My moms didn't want me enough to try and keep me, so I stayed up late when I was younger crying all sleepy. My dad didn't give a shit bout no one he straight up split, spent his whole life chasing pussy and lying bout Shit. But that's OK I hardly ever thinking bout 'en anymore, I just drink till my feelings are numb and my heart's no longer sore. I feel like a bastard with some problems and mental disposition, couldn't find the strength to kill myself but I keep wishing. Steadily Throwing up this shit called food that's life keeps dishing out, I stay higher than a space station just to keep keep from crying out. I know life is hard sometimes but I'll eventually find my way, or you'll find me laying next to my car starting to decay. That's just how I see it sometimes like it's the only way, inevitably I'll end up dying one day in painful way. But I stay astray to myself don't need nobody else, so when u find my corpse u can't blame anyone else. And this is the definition of depression in a teen supreme, I'm different than any other I have too vivid dreams. An example is necessary but I'm no visionary, life isn't all Fun and games on the contrary. I'm certain I'm on a road to success, and glad to be living and I know I am blessed. But I am consumed with this grief and confined by my stress, so I shoot a pain relieving bullet through the center of my chest.... Now u can use the hole to peer into my soul.

free verse

Words are like a metaphoric knife that cuts through the skin of our souls to the pit of our emotions and bleeds out our fears.... So i use them like a surgeon would.... So i ask. " wut do u not like about ur self".... Actions are applied to the surface a seed plating hope all around... Or like a virus infecting every host in its radius to creat panic and confusion.... I got a bag full seeds but my names not jonny... And at the same time im like a mad scientist with a million test tubes... Which one isnt the virus... The actions we display are just as important as the reactions and negative/ positive actions that occur because of them. So I act like im an actor reading my actions from a script. I usually know wut should happen. But its as if were all reading a diff script. So i guess im jus improving... sum say lifes a game of chess... Well if it was then oh dang... Cuz i kant play chess.. Haha but i say lifes like a game of 21. It doesnt matter wut ur poker face is. Or how bad u want it, or even if u deserve it. Its how u play... Cheat or straight ur real its about ur the hand u recieve with every new deal.. If life was a games show its like me vs 1 million.. But instead its like that other show except the button is stuck, so i cant take the deal.... Life is real so u should get real too... Or take a serving of reality with every meal or take a shot of real expresso... Me. I inject my mind with the idea of real then sit on dock of the bay and fish for understanding.... Then I get my gun which is courage and ammunition which is ambition and look hunt for a purpose... Then i come home to acceptance, take a bath in knowledge and sleep on pain.. And wake feeling great.. If any of that makes sense...

the end result...

Its like u put a kinfe thru my chest and cut my heart to pieces. fragments of who I was, who I am, and who i am to be, and to be honest the one even scared me. Cause to see the rage in my eye like I'm looking in a mirror before it even happens makes things even clearer. I see wut i've not done and what the result could be, I see wut u did and lookwuts become of me. I try hard to stopd then rage encaging the monster in side of me, but you keeppushing and pissing me off so its now taking over me. I see coluds of gray and my eyes water with pain and i grit my teeth as if i coudlnt substain. I walk on the road not taken and less traveled by, but feel like your laughing and point at me as i try. to make it to the spot or place i want to go, i feel like that other side of me continues to grow. But growing up has taught me a lot, and the pain inside of me ceases to stop. Although I cant blame anyone for the things I see in the man in the mirror when hes looking back at me, I can olny say u did wut you did but do u now see the results of me....

I Feel Pain

I feel pain, like razors just barely cutting into the skin of our emotions only to cause us to bleed our morals and values. I feels pain, like when the strenght to fight and carry on is broken and the will to do the right thing has vanished into obvilion and when you think it can't get anyworse someone you care for walks right outa your life without so much as a nod and leaves you standing there with a chest full of emptyness, a hand full of fragments and remains of your heart, and your shoes soaked in the murky pool of lost hope. I feel pain, like when I'm walkin through the thick foggy haze of lost hopes and dreams lookin for a miracle that will never show its perfect face or grace me with its light "leadin to a better tomarrow". Instead I'm submerged into the darkest abyss without even a spark of hope or a flicker of a dream that might not over come true. Although I'm happy on occasion and thankful for everything that I have been blessed, I'm somehow constantly always in pain.

TODAY IS FRIDAY!

Today is Friday. I am extremely happy. i now have a reason to get up early everyday and race to school. i am soo read for spring break! I am so tired of the same monotonous schedule. Im so ready for more adventure, excitemnet, and a different kind of pace. i like unexpected things happenning all the time and never know wuts gonna happen next. Im starting to get my life in order after totally oblitereating it. I felt like my life was crumbling to pieces like a wet soggy cookie. but now its all coming together like a magnificently written paper. A special thanls to all my friends out there. Im now on a mission to find my purpose in life. Trying out new dificult, challenging and exciting news things. Starting with my poetry you will be seeing very soon! bye for now!