Definition of Depression

My moms didn't want me enough to try and keep me, so I stayed up late when I was younger crying all sleepy. My dad didn't give a shit bout no one he straight up split, spent his whole life chasing pussy and lying bout Shit. But that's OK I hardly ever thinking bout 'en anymore, I just drink till my feelings are numb and my heart's no longer sore. I feel like a bastard with some problems and mental disposition, couldn't find the strength to kill myself but I keep wishing. Steadily Throwing up this shit called food that's life keeps dishing out, I stay higher than a space station just to keep keep from crying out. I know life is hard sometimes but I'll eventually find my way, or you'll find me laying next to my car starting to decay. That's just how I see it sometimes like it's the only way, inevitably I'll end up dying one day in painful way. But I stay astray to myself don't need nobody else, so when u find my corpse u can't blame anyone else. And this is the definition of depression in a teen supreme, I'm different than any other I have too vivid dreams. An example is necessary but I'm no visionary, life isn't all Fun and games on the contrary. I'm certain I'm on a road to success, and glad to be living and I know I am blessed. But I am consumed with this grief and confined by my stress, so I shoot a pain relieving bullet through the center of my chest.... Now u can use the hole to peer into my soul.